The 12 Pains of Christmas - Super Smash Bros Edition
by Mishieru Hime
Summary: Every year, Master Hand assigns each Smasher a task. From finding Christmas trees, to singing Christmas carols, not everyone likes their tasks. A collection of flash fictions rolled into one chapter. Song fic (without the lyrics).
1. Finding a Christmas Tree

**Hello there, I'm back from my hiatus (due to a controversial fanfic related to opinions and parody)! I'm still working on Bowser's Interviews, so this is for all you loyal reviewers (especially Plasmatroopa) waiting for the next chapter.**

**Because I started this 4 days before Christmas, this will go past Christmas (and possibly into New Year's Day)**

* * *

Marth obtained a shopping cart and strolled into the local Smash-Mart to buy a Christmas Tree for the mansion.

"Why can't Master Hand ask Ike to do this? He always sits on his butt playing Nintendoland with Link on the Wii U Master Hand bought." Marth whined in Japanese.

"Welcome to Smash-Mart. How can I help-OMG YOU'RE MARTH LOWELL! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?" fangirled the greeter. The golden name tag said "Malon" on it.

"No. Can you just tell me where the Christmas trees are?" Marth asked politely. Malon sighed and pulled out a walkie-talkie from her pocket.

"Excuse me, but can you tell me if you have any Christmas Trees in stock?" Malon chirped into the walkie-talkie quickly. She nodded and placed the walkie-talkie back into her pocket.

"Follow me." Malon escorted the celebrity fighter prince to the Christmas aisle. There were plenty of Christmas related things there, from eggnog to wreaths.

"There it is." she said in a rapid voice while pointing at the only Christmas tree.

"Gotta go!" Malon ran back to her place, which is the entrance.

"MOVING THROUGH, MOVING THROUGH!" yelled a childish voice. Marth turned back and saw a boy wearing some metal mask with several soldiers sporting pig masks in white and green. The soldiers rolled a scarlet plush carpet, and the boy raised his sword and shot a lightning beam at Marth.

"WHAT THE F-" The beam hit Marth, knocking him out. The boy walked to the Christmas tree, and several soldiers lifted the tree off the shelf and left the store (without paying).

**2 hours later:**

"Sir, are you OK?" Marth woke up, to see that the Christmas tree is gone and several employees and customers crowding around him.

"Can I still have your autograph?" Malon asked.

"No." Marth shoved through the crowd and left the store.


	2. Rigging Up the Lights

**As the stories go on, the chapters get longer due to what happens meanwhile during each event. In this chapter, Snake tries to rig up the lights, while Marth continues his journey to find the perfect Christmas tree for the mansion.**

* * *

Snake looked at the task Master Hand assigned him to do.

_Put up/take down lights – David Hayter/Solid Snake.  
Tip: The lights are in the attic. You can get there from the upper dorm room. As for putting up/taking down the lights, you're on your own. I'm not teaching you how to do that._

"That's easy. I can get this done in an hour." thought the mercenary. He walked to the upper dorm hallway, pulled the rope hanging from a ceiling, and out came several folding stairs. Snake climbed the stairs and arrived in a dusty attic. Luckily, there was a nearby light switch, so Snake flipped it on.

Filling the attic were several pieces of Super Smash Bros memorabilia Master Hand collected over the years (from the first match ever, to the trophy Pit won just 3 days ago). There were also the holiday items Master Hand talked about, but Snake only saw cracked Christmas ornaments and a dead Christmas tree that Donkey Kong must have brought up (Master hand wanted him to bring it to the curb, so the garbage truck can pick it up). Snake wandered around, opening each box.

"Lights, lights, lights, Does Master Hand even know how to label his things?" Snake complained. After an hour, the search covered Snake up in dust. Fed up, he coughed, took out his phone and texted Samus.

"hey babe, do u know where r the lights?" Snake texted. Samus was busy shopping with Peach and Zelda, so he didn't expect her to reply instantly.

"Ah, screw it." He pulled out a cigarette, and started smoking it in the attic.

"At least no one would catch me smoking." Snake thought positively. The phone vibrated through his sneaking suit, causing him to drop the cigarette on the hardwood floor. It started a minor fire, which Snake put out by stomping on it. It damaged his boot, but he knew that he would have to return home if the mansion burned down. After that, he checked to see who it was. It was a reply from Samus.

"the christmas lights box was right below the group shot of the original smashers. dumbass. r u stupid or something?" Snake read. He looked below the group shot of the original Smashers, and saw a cardboard box with "CHRISTMAS LIGHTS" written in big letters.

"DAMMIT! I COULD HAVE SAVED AN HOUR IF I KNEW IT WAS THERE!" Snake yelled.

"SHUT UP SNAKEY POO!" a childish voice yelled from below. It was possibly Ness, Lucas, Toon Link, Red, Nana or Popo. Snake ignored that voice, picked up the box of lights, exited the attic, and went outside. He opened the box and took out the rope of Christmas lights. Plugging the lights to a power source, he got a ladder, climbed it up, and started hanging them.

What he didn't realize was that Diddy Kong hid behind the ladder and started tipping it, while Toon Link stayed behind a bush to tape the event. They had plans to upload it on YouTube, and maybe Roy William Johnson would notice it and comment about it.

"NESS, I KNOW IT'S YOU!" Snake yelled while paying attention to the lights. Diddy Kong ignored the rant and started tipping it more. The mercenary lost grip on the ladder and fell off.

"AH!" yelled the mercenary. He landed face flat on the pavement, while Diddy Kong happily skipped into the house.

* * *

**Meanwhile:**

Marth visited a Christmas tree farm, wrapped in some warm clothes. The earlier attempt hadn't been successful because of the Pigmask incident, but he felt like he can take one home today.

"I'm sorry, but we're all sold out." a male Toad said. "Here's some hot chocolate to calm you down." He handed Marth a Styrofoam cup full of hot chocolate.

"But there's some Christmas trees left over!" complained Marth, while sipping the hot chocolate.

"Several people reserved them over the year. You should have come earlier." the Toad said calmly.

"Screw it." Marth threw down the unfinished hot chocolate and stormed out of the farm.


	3. Hangovers

Ganondorf was the first person to regain conscious. He noticed the floor area and saw several beer bottles, both full and empty. Some of them tipped over and spilled on the hardwood floor Master Hand recently installed. Wolf and Bowser hadn't woken up yet, and had their faces covered in permanent marker. The moment he saw the marker doodles on his friend's faces, Ganondorf declared in his head that he had enough of Jigglypuff, and she would be his next target.

"Ugh...What happened?" Ganondorf asked himself, before standing up and exploring his surroundings.

The living room looked like a hurricane passed by it. DVDs and magazines littered the floor, while cockroaches scampered everywhere. The TV also looked like it was beyond repair, and Princess Peach's vases also suffered the same fate. Puddles of water, shards of porcelain, and wilted flowers were around the broken vases. Link walked past him, and noticed his pain. He didn't want to help Ganondorf because of the broken 3DS incident, but he wanted to get some entertainment from the Gerudo's misery.

"Those doodles...they're so funny!" Link couldn't control his laughter and fell on the floor. He managed to control it and take out a phone. "Say cheese, Ganondork!" Link pressed a button and the two of them can hear a "click".

"What doodles?" Ganondorf questioned.

"This." Link marched Ganondorf to a nearby mirror, revealing the doodles "Jiggilypuff" draw. A circle surrounded the Gerudo's eye, several X's marked his cheek, and the drawer thought it was right to give him a mustache too.

"If these go on Facebook, then I'm going to kill you!" Ganondorf warned.

"I'm not falling for that trap again!" Link replied. He stepped on some cockroaches while walking towards some nearby blinds. Ganondorf cringed from the loud crunching noises, before collapsing again. The Hylian raised the blinds, revealing the backdrop of sunny weather and snow on the ground.

"AGH! MY EYES!" Ganondorf shielded his eyes with his arms, before getting up again and speeding off to the bathroom. Link and everyone in the living room could hear the loud heaves into the toilets. It made Link want to also gag, vomit entering his mouth. Link didn't want to appear gross, so he swallowed it. Instantly, he ran to the kitchen to rinse out the vomit taste in his mouth.

"CAN YOU AT LEAST GET ME SOME WATER?" Ganondorf yelled while returning from the bathroom. He gasped and bolted back to the bathroom, making wet fart noises once in there.

* * *

"Don't do any heavy activity for a while." Dr. Mario warned while wrapping bandages over Snake's arm. Snake walked out of the office and had motivation to get the lights done before Christmas. Like usual, he got a ladder and started hanging the lights. He managed to get up to the higher areas of Smash Mansion (3rd floor) and didn't realize that some of the water froze and acted as threats. The moment he took a step, he slipped and fell down the roof again.

Sonic came back from lunch and noticed Snake on the pavement. He laughed before entering the house, not realizing that Snake was conscious. The blue hedgehog also didn't realize that he could get a beating any time Snake received more medical treatment from Dr. Mario.

* * *

Marth took the public bus and stopped at another Christmas tree farm called "Tree-Mart". Like usual, the employees greeted Marth and he asked about any Christmas trees.

"We have one more. Come with me." the seller said. He looked like he was from those Animal Crossing towns, and he wore a shirt that had a coat design on it.

"How could he keep warm in that?" Marth thought in his head. He was lead to a perfect Christmas tree that would look perfect inside the mansion, when decorated with ornaments and shiny tinsel. Surrounding the tree were several tree stumps, indicating they were recently cut.

"Do you want to cut the tree?" the seller asked. Marth nodded in approval, given a large golden axe, and took a swing at the tree. The moment Marth's axe hit the tree, several squirrels came running out.

"This tree has squirrels!" Marth screamed. He slashed at the tree, killing and injuring several squirrels and damaging the tree. The seller was left speechless from Marth's actions.

"Do you know you're paying for that?" the seller questioned. Marth sighed, opened his blue leather wallet, and handed the seller several hundred Smash Dollars


	4. Sending Christmas Cards

**Edit 1: Changed Nintendoland to "Nintendo World" after a suggestion from Plasmatroopa.**

* * *

Pit came home from building snowmen and proceeded to get to his room, leaving tracks of snow everywhere. He didn't realize that he was creating another mess for Princess Peach to clean up.

"Excuse me?" Peach scolded. She dropped her vacuüm and crossed her arms, giving Pit the evil eye. "I worked hard to clean the floors and I get this in return? How rude! You're not getting any of my cookies this year until you help me clean u pthe mess!"

"Sorry! I have to get out of my clothes!" Pit hollered from upstairs. He continued his journey to his room and managed to reach the door. Pit fumbled around for his key card, swiped it, and entered his room. The angel boy changed out of his outer wear and into his regular tunic, before planning to go out again. Before he reached the door, two boxes and an envelope caught his attention. Beside his desk is a large canvas bag, enough to put plenty of things into it. He walked towards his desk, opened the envelope and read the letter enclosed.

_Happy Holidays Pit!_

_Your task this year is to write and send Christmas cards to people. This year, you will be sending Christmas cards to applicants of Super Smash Bros 4, the people who helped organize the game (aka the developers), Assist Trophies because they helped make the game possible with their help, employees of Smash Mansion (maids, cooks, etc.), and people who played a role in the Subspace Emissary._

_I have left a box of Christmas cards, envelopes , and stamps on your desk, enclosed a list of people you will need to send them too (addresses included), and I also left a canvas bag so you can put the finished cards in. When you have filling the bag with cards, give me the canvas bag so I can mail them._

_Remember, you are sending them from:_

_Smash Mansion_

_123 Smash Street_

_Smashville_

_Nintendo World_

_Sincerely, Master Hand_

Pit grabbed his bow, split it into two swords and used one of them to cut the tape on both boxes. Opening one of the boxes, he found out that it contained white postage-sized envelopes. There were also stamps with the Smash Ball on it too. Opening the other box, there were various Super Smash Bros Christmas cards. The designs had things such as the Smash Ball or a drawing of a popular Smasher on it. Pit checked the list of people before writing his first card. There were plenty of names and addresses on the list and it filled 20 pages, from Altair to Zelda (Ocarina of Time).

"Developers and employees? More like people I hardly even talk to." Pit told himself. He didn't want to write these cards, but he knew that if they weren't finished by Christmas, he wasn't allowed to go to the Smash Mansion Christmas Party. Pit sighed, before grabbing a blue pen from his desk and a greeting card from the box. Luckily, there was a premade greeting on the card, so Pit didn't have to suffer from not coming up with a witty greeting. The only thing he needed to do is to write the name of the person, thank him/her for his/her contribution to Super Smash Bros, and sign it.

"To Altair,

Thank you for applying for Super Smash Bros 4. We look forward to reading your application sometime this week. Have a happy holiday.

Smash Mansion (written by Pit)." Pit wrote on the card. He tossed it into the bag, and checked who else he needed to write to. Maybe if he wrote faster, he could get them done in 15 minutes or something.

**15 minutes later:**

"MY HAND, IT HURTS!" Pit screamed while flapping his right arm. His hand cramped from the amount of excessive writing and improper pen holding.

"Can you stop-a yelling?" someone asked next door. It sounded like Mario or Luigi, but Pit couldn't distinguish between the voices. He checked the list, and only the ones from A-C were complete.

"There goes my day." Pit mumbled to himself.

* * *

Link stared at Ganondorf spinning around in circles. It has been 2 hours since Ganondorf woke up, and he still hadn't got rid of his hangover.

"Just shut your trap already." Link walked to Ganondorf, slapped him in the face, and ran off.

"HEY! GET YOUR GOODY TWO-SHOE HYLIAN ASS BACK HERE!" Ganondorf blared before chasing Link. He couldn't, due to the amount of head pain and collapsed.

* * *

Snake came back from his second medical treatment, again ignoring Dr. Mario's warnings not to rig up the lights again. He went back to the front yard to see that all the lights were missing, and a post-it note taped to the garage door (seriously, who would tape a post-it note when they can just stick it on?). Curious, Snake walked towards it and examined the note.

"_Snake,_

_We've taken down all of your lights because you took down that video on YouTube. If you want the lights back, let us reupload that video agsin!"_

_Diddy Kong and friends." - _the note said.

"Really?" thought Snake. He didn't want to go after them, for the fear he may get more injuries. Instead, he took his money and went to the nearby hardware store to buy some more Christmas lights.

* * *

Marth visited a department store, and took a walk around for Christmas trees.

"Hi, how can I help you?" a girl said rapidly. Her name tag said "Nana" on it (not to be confused with the fighter of the same name).

"Whoa, slow down!" Marth said cautiously. "And, do you have any trees?"

"Oh we do!" Nana said in a quick voice. She grabbed Marth's hand and dragged him to the Christmas tree department. There were several miniature Christmas trees for those who can't fit them in their houses.

"You call that a tree?" Marth complained at the size of the trees.

"It's better than nothing." replied Nana.

"I'm not buying. Just take me to the candy aisle. I need to get some gifts for the kids." Marth asked. Again, Nana dragged Marth to the candy aisle, where he bought candies for the young Smashers before realizing he was there to buy a tree.

* * *

**Nana is a character from Mother 3, where she is notable for talking a lot.**


	5. 5 Months of Bills

Master Hand sat in his office reading the forms from applicants of Super Smash Bros 4. Coffee in one hand, he took a sip (using his invisible mouth) while reading Midna's application. He placed it in the "Possible" bin and checked the list of tasks he had assigned the Smashers to do. He didn't bother writing the last names due to time constraints and laziness, but it's better than not knowing who did what.

**Rig up the lights - Snake + Sonic**

**Find a Christmas tree – Marth**

**Decorate the Christmas Tree – Ness, Lucas, Toon Link, Red, Diddy Kong, Nana, Popo**

**Write the Christmas Cards – Pit**

**Manage the Bills – Master Hand**

**Cooking the Food – Princess Peach**

**Sing Christmas Carols – Ike, Luigi**

**Buy Presents: Link, Samus, Bowser**

"DNAH RETSAM! UOY ROF GNIHTEMOS TOG I!" Crazy Hand yelled. He burst into the room with an envelope in hand. The noise caused Master Hand to drop his coffee and his application, causing a mess on its desk and making Midna's application unreadable because of the coffee stains.

"I'll take that!" Master Hand snatched the envelope from the crazy gloved hand. "Now shoo." It shoved Crazy Hand out of the office and locked the door. Grabbing a letter opener from his desk, he rapidly opened the envelope and pulled out a paper. He read it carefully, looking for any errors.

**The Bill Company**

**Malo Mart – $21.32**

**Yoshi's Cabana - $321.13**

**Smashville's Hobbies, Games and Toys - $320.21**

**Diamond Software - $324.98**

**The Nintendo World Store - $3210.45**

**The Pottery Store - $94.24**

Master Hand skimmed through the bill, to find the total cost of the bill.

**Grand Total - $34,342.**

"34 THOUSAND DOLLARS?" Master Hand bellowed. "WHAT DID TOON LINK BUY THIS TIME ON THE INTERNET!?" He threw down the bill, before running out of his office shedding invisible tears. Princess Peach walked in, still tired from cleaning the mess Pit made and noticed the bill. She picked it up and read it, before collapsing from the total cost.

"Someone get me the smelling salts." Peach said tiredly while fainting.

* * *

Pit collapsed at his desk, still writing those cards. Tears rolled down his face, dropping on to his toga and desk.

"I'm never going to get these done by tomorrow." Pit sobbed while inserting a letter into an envelope, writing the address details, and licking a stamp. The foul taste of the stamp glue lined his mouth, making Pit run to the bathroom to rinse it out. He ran back in and checked his progress. He already reached the end of "B", which Pit knew he was behind. The angel boy stood up, stretched for 25 minutes and returned to his seat.

* * *

Ganondorf groaned while sleeping on a couch, while Ness and Lucas watched, giggling.

"You got everything?" Ness asked Lucas quietly.

"Checked." Lucas held a can of shaving cream in one hand, and a Tickle Stick in the other. The physic blond handed Ness the shaving cream, which Ness took and walked over to where the Gerudo was sleeping.

"Hehehe…" giggled Ness. He squirted some shaving cream over the Gerudo's giant hand. "Ready Lucas?"

"Ready." Lucas walked towards Ganondorf and brushed it over his giant nose. Asleep, Ganondorf smacked his face with the shaving-cream-covered hand, before waking up. Luckily, Link forgot to take down the blinds so no one had to suffer from Ganondorf's wrath.

"YOU LITTLE SH-TAKE DOWN THE BLINDS, YOU WRETCHED LITTLE PSYCHICS!" Ganondorf screamed.

"Your loss." Lucas said before walking out with Ness.

* * *

Snake walked out of the store with a box of Christmas lights. He walked back home, took out a knife, opened it, and took out the lights. Suddenly, Sonic appeared out of nowhere, grabbed the lights, and rapidly circled around the mercenary. When he finished circling around him, the lights were now around Snake, acting as a constraint.

"Not bad." Sonic said before walking away.

* * *

The bus stopped near a U-Cut Christmas tree farm and Marth got off at that stop. Axe in one hand, he walked towards the entrance, scaring a few of the pedestrians.

"Mommy, is he going to kill us?" questioned a little girl to her mother. She hid her face in her mother's black trench coat until Marth passed by them. He entered the tree farm, took out a note from Master Hand from his coat pocket, unfolded it, and read it. Because Master Hand found out about Marth's failures to find a proper Christmas tree, he wanted Marth to get a Christmas tree according to his demands.

**Master Hand's Christmas tree Guidelines:**

**Must be real or plastic**

**Min. height is 6 feet tall, and max. height is 9 feet tall**

**Full all around**

**Support at least 50 ornaments and a star**

**If real, pine needles must not fall off if brushed against**

**Must not brown until New Year's Day**

"Seriously?" Marth complained. "Despite taking 40% of our earnings, he always wants us to do his chores because he's 'special'. Why can't I just cut out a Christmas tree out of green construction paper, tape it to a wall and call it a day? Besides, it'll be more fun creating the ornaments from scratch using paper and felts." he continued.

"I'd like to welcome you to Tree-Stop. My name is Sean, and I'll be assisting you on finding the perfect Christmas tree. If you need help, ask…" Sean introduced. They were both cut off when lightning struck one of the trees, and it caught on fire. The fire spread to several other trees, before Sean shook the prince.

"CALL 911 NOW!" demanded Sean. Marth took out a cell phone, called the fire department and waited.

**45 minutes later:**

The wails of the fire truck startled the two, and firemen got out. The ambulance also arrived, and the paramedics were ready to put anything with a heart beat on to a stretcher. Sean and Marth looked behind, to see the trees still on fire, before turning back. The firemen let a stream of water come out from their hoses, and let it go at the rows of trees.

**30 minutes later:**

A fireman Toad tapped Sean on the shoulder, leaving a streak of dirt over the salesman's jacket.

"We're done from here, be more careful next time. Hope you have insurance or something." the Toad instructed before racing to the fire truck and driving off.

"So, can I have your autograph?" Sean shoved a pen and paper into Marth's hands. Feeling nice today, Marth signed the paper before thanking him and leaving the farm.


	6. Facing my In-Laws

**Sorry if this gets lazy/OOC. I recently got a drawing tablet, and I had more motivation to draw something with it rather than work on this. If stories like these become successful, I may start running an ask blog on Tumblr for the mansion.**

* * *

Peach worked in the kitchen, busy from all the food she was making. She walked over to the metal fridge, took out some sugar cookie dough and floured the counter. Placing the dough on the counter, she rolled it and used cookie cutters to cut the dough into festive shapes. She knew that those cookies weren't for anyone in the mansion, instead going towards the Christmas tour for the applicants Master Hand accepted. Mario walked in, looking like he had some news for the princess.

"Princess Peach, my-a parents and-a friends are visiting us on Christmas. Be good to them." Mario instructed before leaving the kitchen, leaving Princess Peach freezing in place. She knew that Mama Mario had been a jerk to her, despite her royal status. Most of the Smashers knew that she embarrassed Peach with her insults, but they were too scared to deal with Mama Mario (except for Samus, Zelda and Mario).

Immediately, Peach grabbed a separate bowl and added baking soda, flour, cocoa powder, and salt. Mama Mario has a soft spot for chocolate, and Peach knew that she could use that to her advantage. If she was given cake, then none of the Smashers had to deal with her pestering. Footsteps came from the entrance. Peach looked behind, and saw Mama Mario. The mother-in-law walked into the kitchen and noticed the cake she was making.

"Excuse me? I asked for vanilla!" Mama Mario demanded. "And it's rude that you didn't say 'hello' to me too!" The cranky old woman yelled at the poor princess, making the poor princess collapse from the pressure. She left, leaving Princess Peach in tears.

* * *

Master Hand sat at his desk, sobbing from the bill he received a few hours ago. Crazy Hand dashed into the office, threw another envelope at his good counterpart, and teleported off.

"Not again." Master Hand complained. It opened the envelope and pulled out another bill. Master Hand scanned the bill, until looking at the total price.

**Bill Total: $60,342 **

Master Hand didn't freak out like he did before, but he sobbed loudly than before.

"Why does the girls love to go shopping? At least they won't know I'm deducting that from their earnings." Master Hand sobbed.

* * *

Pit stared at the amount of cards he had made. He had finished everyone's names with the letter "D", and his hand begged for mercy.

"I hate those Christmas cards!" Pit complained in a Japanese accent, before continuing on.

* * *

Because Ganondorf has been obnoxious due to his "hangover", people suspected him of using that as his "Get out of jail card". Donkey Kong decided to see if he was lying by dragging in an iPod dock, placing Diddy Kong's iPod, setting the volume to max, and letting it rip (he was wearing noise cancelling headphones).

"STOP..TORMENTING..ME. DONKEY KONG? MORE LIKE DICKASS KONG!" Ganondorf complained while holding his ears. He ran to the bathroom to vomit (which everyone in the mansion could hear). Donkey Kong didn't like what Ganondorf said and walked towards him.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Donkey Kong replied angrily.

"Uh..nothing."

"LIAR! AND NOW, DICKASS KONG WILL BEAT YOU UP!" Donkey Kong picked up Ganondorf and rammed him into a wall. He scribbled a note and taped it above the Gerudo.

_"Do not pull out."_

The giant ape also wrote "Moron" on another piece of paper and taped it to Ganondorf's buttocks too.

* * *

Snake continued to rig up the lights he bought from the hardware store (Samus had to untie him). While he was setting up the lights on the east hallway, a round faceless fairy startled him with its cries.

"HEY!" the blue fairy yelled.

"I'm trying to rig up these lights." Snake said clearly to the fairy.

"LOOK!" The blue fairy ignored Snake's requests for isolation, and continued to pester him.

"CAN YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO RIG UP THESE LIGHTS?!" Snake yelled.

"LISTEN!"

"How about you listen to me next time? This is what you get for pestering me!" Snake grabbed the fairy, pinned it down to the ground (aka the roof tiles), and stomped on it repetitively, making the fairy cry in pain. After Snake finished stomping on it, blue pixie dust had covered Snake's right boot and the roof tiles. Link walked out of the mansion, car keys in hand. He noticed Snake on the rooftop and decided to ask him something.

"Hey Snake, have you seen my-" Link stared at the pixie dust on Snake's boot.

"You need something? Because if you don't, then you're wasting my time!" Snake grumbled.

"What did you done to Navi?" Tears of anger came out of the Hero's eyes.

"I…um…broke-I mean, got rid of it because…um…It's annoying." Snake stammered.

"Well you should have told me!" Link pulled out his slingshot and aimed it towards Snake. Letting it go, it landed a perfect shot at Snake's left eye. "Next time, don't break people's things without asking!" the Hero warned before putting away his slingshot and leaving.

* * *

Marth went to another department store, ignoring the greeters. Weaving through the aisles and ignoring the "Princess Martha" jokes,

"Would you like to try our beef jerky?" an employee asked. Marth ignored her and focused on his prize.

"How about the perfect holiday gift for your girlfriend?" another employee suggested.

"Sorry, I have no time to find gifts right now." Marth panted while running.

"Will you stop running into people?" a Gerudo complained.

Marth made his way to the Christmas section, and saw his prize. A tall Christmas tree stood in the middle of nowhere, a discount sign attached to it.

_"50% Off."_

"Must get the tree." Marth thought in his head. He dashed to the last Christmas Tree and picked it up.

"Great job son." a Koopa Troopa said to a cyan Paratroopa. He grabbed the tree from Marth's hands (he was stronger than Marth, despite his looks), patted his son on the head, and made their way to the cashier."

"Oh." Marth said.

* * *

**Mama Mario is a character in "The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!"**


	7. Charities

**Sorry for missing a day! I'll release two chapters in one day sometime!**

**In other news, I already set up an ask blog on Tumblr where you can ask the Super Smash Bros characters (and some of my fan characters) questions. It's called smashmansion, and the ask blog is based on the stories I wrote (Bad Luck Bowser, Bowser's Interviews, etc.). **

**BONUS: Send a question to the box (with your fanfiction name) by January 30, and I will review one of your stories (limit 3 reviews per user).**

* * *

Mario walked into Smash Mall, to do his share of the Christmas shopping.

"Hello sir would you like to donate to the Boy Scouts of Nintendo World?" a Yoshi saluted. He held a tin can in his hands, while another Goron handed out pamphlets to shoppers.

"Are you sure you guys can be-a trusted with my money? Last time I caught your troop having a pool party." Mario replied suspiciously, while pulling out a 20 dollar bill.

"Thank you for the donation!" The Yoshi snatched his 20 dollar bill, while the Goron gave him a pamphlet for the Boy Scouts."

"Do you just go up to-a someone and take their money?" Mario said angrily. "This is another a-reason why I don't want to a-donate to you cheap bastards!" He picked up the Yoshi by the tail, slammed him to the ground, and started jumping on him several times. Several shoppers noticed the scene, and the ones with children have covered their eyes. It didn't get enough attention, until a teenage Zora noticed the commotion.

"OMG. Someone, like totally film this." the Zora pointed at Mario jumping on the Yoshi Scout. The employees and their customers from nearby stores flocked to see what was happening. Some even brought their phones and cameras to film what was happening, so they can post it on YouTube.

"What's-a next, the paparazzi?" Mario sighed. At that moment, two Toad paparazzi dashed over and took pictures of the scene. The Yoshi managed to get up and return back the 20 dollar bill.

"You win, Mario. But I bet you aren't getting perks because you chose to beat up an innocent Yoshi!" The Yoshi stuck his tongue at the plumber, while the Goron escorted him out.

* * *

Princess Peach sliced the vanilla cake she made, and served it on several pink ceramic plates.

"Who wants cake?" Princess Peach called, while ringing a bell. Half of the Smashers flocked to the kitchen, including Mama Mario. The place looked like a store on Black Friday, since everyone was fighting each other for a slice of cake.

"GIVE ME THAT!" Ness demanded, while pulling a plate of cake from Red. He casted PK Flash on the Pokémon trainer, blinding him. While Red couldn't stop crying from the dazzling light, Ness took the cake and a fork, and ran out of the kitchen.

"Mmmmm…sprinkles." Ness licked his lips while taking a bite out of the cake. "I'd like steak, but at least it's better than nothing.

"You ate my cookie last time, so I deserve to eat that cake!" Wario snatched the cake from Luigi. While everyone was fighting about the 7 slices, Mama Mario slipped through the crowd and took a piece of cake for herself. Looking at it, she scowled.

"I WANTED CHOCOLATE!" Mama Mario threw down her cake plate on the floor. It stopped the fighting because everyone gasped, and several people had to get cleaning supplies and support for Peach.

"You asked for vanilla!" Princess Peach cried, while Zelda gave her tissues and support.

"She's right. Beggars can't be choosers. You wanted Peach to make you a cake, so she baked you one. Stop complaining, I'm sure one of the people wanting cake would be happy to take your piece." Zelda defended.

"Is that how you talk to your elders? I thought I got my son to tell you to bake a chocolate cake." Peach's mother-in-law barked. She walked over to the princess and slapped her on the face, leaving a red mark on Peach's soft face. A wave of gasps filled the room. Mama Mario pushed Peach into a wall, giving her a concussion.

"Please come back soon, Mario." Princess Peach prayed. At the same time, Ike and Lyn brought a stretcher. They lifted Peach on the stretcher and took her to Dr. Mario's office.

* * *

Master Hand walked back into his office, and found more bills on his desk.

"I didn't realize that there were more of you." Master Hand said to himself, before looking at it and leaving his office.

* * *

At the time Pit finished writing cards to people starting with the letter "E", Pit felt like he could die from exhaustion any minute.

"I hope I don't get that something Tunnel Syndrome." Pit whined. "Screw it, I'm getting some food." The angel boy got out of his chair and left the room. Pit made it to the stairs before being stopped by Master Hand.

"Hold it right there, young man. Shouldn't you be writing your Christmas cards?" Master hand said sternly.

"But..." Pit stammered.

"No buts Pit. Be a good boy and finish your Christmas cards. If you don't finish them, maybe Santa won't bring you presents this year." replied the gloved hand.

"…I'm hungry! And I don't believe in Santa, I believe in Palutena instead." Pit lied (he still believed in Santa Claus).

"Just because you don't believe in Santa doesn't mean you don't have to send the cards. As for your hunger pangs, you may go to the kitchen, but I don't want to see you in the games room with Ness or Link." Master hand let the angel pass by, and expected him back in his bedroom in 30 minutes.

* * *

"Oh geez." Ganondorf mumbled. He locked himself in the men's washrooms, vomiting everywhere.

"CAN YOU HURRY UP? I NEED TO TAKE A FALCON SHOWER!" Captain Falcon yelled while knocking on the door.

"I'm still doing business. Give me 5 minutes." Ganondorf grumbled.

_5 minutes later:_

"FALCON PUNCH!" Captain Falcon punched the door, because he wasn't sure what Ganondorf was doing in the bathroom. He ran in, eager to take his shower, but he slipped on Ganondorf's vomit.

"Falcon..Pain." Captain Falcon mumbled before blacking out.

"That's what you get for invading my privacy!" Ganondorf laughed while walking out (and leaving vomit tracks)

* * *

Snake marveled at the lights he put up. He was about to go back in, when he noticed something with the lights. The lights went tumbling down and landed on the ground, some of the lights cracked.

"SONIC! DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE LIGHTS?" Snake yelled.

"It wasn't me!" Sonic replied while walking with Amy.

"Then can you explain this?" Snake asked angrily. He pulled out a spare phone, touched a few things on a screen, and tossed it over to Sonic. Luckily, Sonic caught it or it would costed Snake $99 for a screen repair.

"OMG. I fucking hate Snake. He makes me do shit stuff like rigging up the lights. I thought it would be also nice to hide the lights and frame several people too." read Sonic.

"Explain. And I better see that phone returned to Master Hand, or I'm having hedgehog au fromage. I still wonder how you taste like." Snake grumbled.

"THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Sonic cried before running into the house, bursting with tears. Amy looked up at the mercenary, fist clenched and hatred in her eyes.

"What did you just do to my boyfriend?" Amy barked angrily.

"I'm not insulting your boyfriend's actions, I'm describing what's he's doing." Snake lied. Amy looked furious than before. She pulled out her hammer, spawned an invisible spring out of nowhere, jumped on it, and hit Snake on the head.

"You…bitch." Snake mumbled before fainting again. Amy jumped down and went inside.

* * *

Marth, fed up with finding a Christmas tree bought some construction paper from the craft store and shaped the paper like a Christmas tree. He taped it onto the living room wall and called it a day.

_1 hour later:_

Marth bumped into Master Hand while going for dinner.

"Marth, will you come with me?" Master Hand requested. Marth followed Master Hand to the living room, and showed him the tree he created an hour ago.

"I asked for a real Christmas tree. I don't want you cutting out a Christmas tree and leaving us to make paper ornaments to decorate it. This is unacceptable. We Smashers are not lazy, and we actually bother working on things we've been asked for. Now get out and find a real Christmas tree. I'll ask someone to take it down." Master Hand nagged. "And if you can't find one in-store, then you'll have to cut one yourself. If you do choose to cut one, I've left a backpack full of rations enough for 3 days, tools and shelter in your room." Master Hand walked away, while Ness took down the paper Christmas tree.

"Lazy bum." Ness said quietly. "I thought you were a hardworking prince who reclaimed his kingdom." He took the torn paper and went to find a nearby recycling bin.


	8. Bratty Children

**And I've received the first few questions in smashmansion (aka ask blog for the characters). Keep sending the questions!**

* * *

Link chose to go shopping at the same mall Mario was at. He also brought Toon Link to help him buy gifts for his friends too. They passed buy a toy store, and it caught Toon Link's eyes. He wanted the cooler toys than his friends, and that counted as a "cooler toy" in his world.

"I WANT A TRANSFORMER FUH CHRISTMAS!" Toon Link stomped his foot at Link, while pointing at a bright red Optimus Prime figure.

"No. You told me that you'll behave during the shopping trip."

"Please dad, I'll pay for it with my money." Toon Link begged.

"We came here to help buy presents for your friends, not buy stuff for you. And despite looking like one, I'm not your dad." Link responded.

"I WANT TO BUY IT…NOW!" The cartoon Link threw a temper tantrum on the mall floor. Some of the shoppers noticed and gave him the evil eye, but Toon Link still wanted his Transformer. Lucas and his father noticed the commotion and went to see.

"Toony, please stop!" Lucas begged, while reaching towards his cartoon friend.

"Why don't you buy it for me?" Toon Link fumed. "I'll be nice enough to pay it back!"

"Lucas, if he wants to embarrass himself in public, let him. Ya' shouldn't be dealin' with those things. Move on, and have a good day." Flint stated to his son. The cowboy took Lucas's hand. "Let's forget about this by havin' cheese omelets when we get back." Flint offered.

"Oh boy, cheese!" Lucas cheered. They strolled towards the entrance and left the mall. Link looked back at his cartoon counterpart, still rolling on the floor and crying.

"It would be a shame if your friends heard about this too. I guess Lucas is going to tell everyone about what you did. I also wonder if Santa knows about it too. Perhaps he won't bring you any Christmas presents this year." Link remarked in a sarcastic tone.

"NO PLEASE DON'T LET THEM KNOW! I'LL BE GOOD THIS YEAR! SANTA, I'M SORRY!" Toon Link bawled his eyes out.

"Then be a good boy and stop throwing fits in public. Maybe if you're good, I'll buy you some candy." warned Link. He took out some tissues and gave it to the cartoon Hylian. The two were about to continue their Christmas shopping, when Mario ran to them. Mario had sweat stains all over him and looked like he needed water immediately.

"Link." Mario panted. Help me get out of here. Those charities won't stop pestering me. "First, it was-a Boy Scouts, and now it's the Salvation Army. Link shrugged.

"Sorry man, but I'm taking Toon Link shopping for presents." Link rejected.

"Please, I'll do anything!" Mario cried.

"Fine." Link responded. The Hylian searched his bag, took out a red cape, and handed it to the plumber. Mario put it on and disappeared.

"Watch your Magic Meter!" Link warned. Someone tapped him on the shoulder, which was a member of the Salvation Army.

"Hello sir, have you seen a mustached plumber?" the member asked. He wore a red T-Shirt and a Santa Hat.

"I hadn't seen any plumbers toda…" Mario's reappearance out of thin air had cut off Link's dialogue. The member lost interest in the Hylian and ran towards the plumber.

"Hey, I found him!" the member announced, while pointing at Mario. 3 other members of the Salvation Army flocked around Mario like birds.

"What about your Super Leaf?" hollered the Hylian.

"Oh yeah." Mario realized. He went into his pocket, took out a Super Leaf and consumed it. Immediately, raccoon ears and a tail sprouted out of Mario. The raccoon-plumber then flew out of the mall, leaving a hole in the ceiling.

"That was embarrassing." one of the members said to Link. The two Links simply continued their shopping as if nothing happened.

* * *

Peach woke up in a hospital bed. Bunches of flowers and gifts surrounded her bed, and there was a television. An old woman wearing a cyan dress and a white shawl entered the room.

"I thought Mario said that only his mom was coming!" Peach hid herself in the bed sheets.

"Well I bet he didn't tell you about me, Aunt Luigeena." the old woman said.

"And…" Peach stammered.

"Mama Mario and I wish you a rotten Christmas!" Aunt Luigieena laughed evilly, before being stopped by Mario.

"Stop it Aunt. She's my fiancée." Mario said sternly. "Give her some respect."

"I won't since I heard she baked the wrong cake for your mother. It's her choice to do that and face the consequences." Mario's aunt replied. She walked away, while Mario rushed to Peach.

"Are you-a OK?" Mario asked concernedly.

I don't know what's wrong with your mom." groaned Peach.

"She's always like-a that. I'm going back shopping, so I'll see you in a few hours." Mario responded before leaving the hospital room.

* * *

Master Hand looked up and down for his credit card. He knew that if he didn't pay the bills, then the utilities will go out. It would also set off a chain reaction since if there's no utilities, then the happiness and morale of the Smashers will go down. Low morale and happiness would lead to Smashers leaving the mansion, and possibly back to their worlds.

"CRAZY HAND, DID YOU TAKE MY CREDIT CARD?" Master Hand yelled.

"WNOK T'NOD I!" Crazy Hand yelled back. "SPETS RUOY ECARTER!"

"Oh." realized Master Hand.

**3 hours later:**

"I give up." Master hand mumbled. It retreated back to its office and sat on its chair. Looking down at the desk was its credit card with a note.

_Pay attention to your stuff, Master Hand. Zelda nearly took your credit card by mistake, until notifying her. I looked for you, but I couldn't find you so I left it here._

_- Samus_

"WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SO, SAMUS!" Master Hand yelled.

* * *

"Uh, making up these cards." Pit scoffed. He only reached up to names starting with the letter I. Besides, even the food didn't boost his morale (chocolate). "I wished someone also helped me do this."

* * *

"Honey, get me a beer, huh?" Ganondorf asked Zelda. They both sat on the living room couch, doing their separate business. Ganondorf took the last sips from his almost-empty beer can, while Zelda worked on crocheting a Nintendo DS case for Popo. Out of the blue, the Gerudo reached Zelda and kissed her on the lips.

"No. Go pester Link or something." Zelda replied. She pulled away and slapped Ganondorf on the face hardly, leaving a slight mark on the Gerudo's face. The Hylian princess got up, took her stuff, and left the room (She didn't return back with a can of beer).

* * *

Snake managed to get to the upper levels of Smash Mansion, until realizing something with the lights.

"WHAT, WE HAVE NO EXTENSION CORDS?" Snake roared down at Sonic.

"You should have asked me when I went shopping with Amy last time." Sonic defended. He shrugged and went back in.

* * *

Marth rode his horse into the forest, got off and opened his bag. Inside were 10 bottles of water, a tent, several canned food, and an electric chainsaw. After noticing the contents, Marth got back on his horse. The prince strolled around the forest, until discovering a Christmas Tree around his height. Marth exited his horse, equipped the chainsaw and started chipping away at the tree.

"Don't even THINK about cutting me." a deep voice hissed, startling Marth.

"Is it me or do they have talking trees these days?" Marth questioned. He continued to cut the tree. The moment he was close enough to cutting down the tree, flames appeared on the branches.

"Holy shit man!" Marth cried. He dropped the chainsaw and ran away.

"That's why you shouldn't cut me." the tree warned. It rammed towards Marth, which he dodged. The tree crashed into another tree, before exploding and making the forest catch on fire. Marth dashed to his horse and rode out of the forest.

"How can science explain this!" cried Marth.


	9. Finding Parking Spaces

**Sorry if this gets too lazy. Ugh…3 asks for smashmansion and 7 asks for another blog. I just want to get this finished as soon as possible. Secondly, I'm running out of inspiration, which is why it looks like it was slapped together.**

* * *

Bowser went on his Clown Car and went to Smash Mall. When he reached there, a full parking lot greeted him. His tense hands were gripping the steering wheel, and Bowser would kill anyone to get a parking space.

**1 hour later:**

Bowser honked the horn, still circling around the parking. He wasn't the only one looking for a parking, and he saw several cars searching for a parking space. Smash Mall had their own Black Friday, and almost everything became deeply discounted.

"HURRY UP!" Bowser roared, before noticing an empty spot. He flew over to it, to see that a blue car parked into it.

* * *

Link and Toon Link passed by a candy store, and Toon Link ran into it.

"DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!" Toon Link barked, pointing at some gummies shaped like slimes. His tone scared a few customers, and made a child cry.

"What did I say about you behaving?" Link demanded.

"That I should behave if I want candy?" asked the Cartoon Link.

"Yes." responded Link. "And if you act up again, I may have to tell everyone back at the mansion about it. Now be a good boy and continue on with my shopping."

"Awww.." Toon Link sobbed. The Hero walked towards the candy store cashier to say something.

"Sorry about that, Toon Link is always like that in public." Link apologized. He exited the store, and the two walked towards the food court.

* * *

Mario went to another mall, and he saw more Salvation Army people. His head already hurts from the ringing bells and the soliciting people, and he didn't want to deal with them again. While walking, a Koopa girl stopped the plumber in his tracks.

"GIVE OR DIE." the Koopa girl hissed, shoving a donation bin into his face.

"Uh, no thanks." Mario gulped, before walking away. The Koopa went in her shell and pursued Mario, crashing into innocent bystanders.

"Mamma Mia!" Mario yelled while fleeing from the aggressive pink turtle. He tried to run to the exit, but it was too late. The Koopa caught up to Mario and knocked him out, when he wasn't looking.

**2 hours later:**

Mario woke up on the mall floor, shoppers, security and some of the cashiers looking at him.

"What-a happened?" Mario asked himself.

"You got hit hard by one of the Salvation Army Koopas. You're really lucky she didn't take your wallet, but she's also targeting famous and wealthy people." responded a security guard.

"We've managed to arrest her, and the Salvation Army already knows about this." another security guard added in.

"Here's your wallet." a third security guard handed Mario's wallet to him.

* * *

Princess Peach was recently released from the hospital and passed by a tall woman with a fair complexion. The woman looked like Luigi, and it made Princess Peach suspicious if that was Luigi's alter ego. She wore a bright red dress with stockings and black high-heeled shoes. While a long gold necklace circled her neck, a matching hat stayed on her head. In her hands was a black leather purse. The woman noticed the princess

"You're my cousin's fiancée!" the woman fangirled.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" Peach questioned.

"Sorry to introduce myself, I'm Cousin Luigeena.

"Oh you." Peach responded awkwardly. She knew that Luigeena keeps pestering the Mario Bros, and she didn't want to be in the same fate as them. Peach didn't want a third person tormenting her, so she came up with a plan.

"I heard Lyle Alzado is somewhere in town." Peach lied meekly.

"OOH, WHERE IS HE?" Luigeena demanded.

"He's at Smash Mall, I think. Mario said something about going with him to the mall." Peach continued to lie.

"THANKS FOR TELLING ME!" Luigeena squealed with delight. She ran out of the mansion, to court the football player she loves.

"Phew. Guess I don't have to deal with her again." Peach sighed in relief.

* * *

Master Hand walked back to his desk, 3 envelopes on his desk.

"THERE'S MORE OF YOU?!" Master Hand cried, not taking a closer look at them.

"Calm down Master Hand, these were from that blog you operated!" Popo called. Master Hand ignored him.

"Well, I've better get those bills done." Master Hand spoke to himself. He wrote a check to the bill company, sealed it with the bill in an envelope, and left it in the "To Mail" box.

"1 done, 9 to go." complained Master Hand.

* * *

"Writing all these Christmas cards." Pit whined in frustration. He only got to the first half of people's names starting with the letter "L", and Pit was dying to get out. Suddenly, a knock came from his door.

"Coming!" the angel called. He flew towards the giant door, opened it, and saw Ness and Red.

"Pit, you want to play Nintendo Land with us?" Red requested.

"I have to write those Christmas cards. I got everyone from A-L finished, and I still need to do M-Z." complained Pit.

"That's too bad. Guess we'll have to ask Lucas to play with us instead. We'd like to help, but ain't got the time." lied Red. They did have the time to help Pit write those cards, but they didn't want to waste their time writing cards to people they don't even know.

"See ya." Ness said. The two of them walked away.

* * *

Ganondorf swayed back and forth from his hangover, while several people giggled at Wolf's laptop.

"What's so funny?" Ganondorf hissed.

"This." King Dedede escorted the Gerudo to the laptop.

"Start the video at the beginning. I want to show the funny video we were watching to Ganondork." the fat penguin said.

"Sure. We've watched it 10 times." Meta Knight answered. He set the video to the beginning, so everyone can see it.

"This video has over 340,000 views in less than three days. It's a fail video of Diddy Kong trying to ride a bike over a ramp." Roy commented. "Let's watch."

"Meta Knight, that's not the video we wanted to show him." Dedede notified. Meta Knight said nothing but skip to the next video Roy planned to talk about.

"Now I saved the best for last. It's this drunken video of the notable Smasher, Ganondorf Dragmire. In 4 days, this received 980,000 views.

_The camera focused on Ganondorf spinning around in circles._

"_Water you. Stop!" Bowser cried. The Gerudo ignored him and started undressing himself, throwing the first few removed pieces of armor at random people. _

Ganondorf paused the video.

"WHO UPLOADED THIS?" Ganondorf barked.

"We're keeping this a secret. Sucks to be you, GanonDORK!" Wolf howled.

"Shut up." Ganondorf shoved Wolf into a wall and left.

* * *

Snake and Sonic managed to buy extension cords from the store and connect them to their Christmas lights.

"NOW WHY THE HELL ARE THEY BLINKING?" Snake ranted.

"Did you plug them in right?" Sonic tried to be helpful, as an attempt to avoid a beating by the mercenary.

"I'm sure I did." Snake grumbled. "I'm going to experiment with those lights too."

**2 hours later:**

"IT'S STILL NOT WORKING!" roared Snake.

"Are you sure? I'll just check if it's plugged in right." replied Sonic. The blue hedgehog walked towards the power cords and inspected it.

"Guess I was right, the lights were partly plugged. Plus there's a frayed cable. Sonic out!" Sonic ran back into the house.

* * *

Marth went back to Smash-Mart to check if they restocked on trees.

"Welcome to Smash Mart." Malon chimed again.

"I'm looking for trees." Marth responded.

"Follow me again." Malon walked away. The prince followed the Smash-Mart greeter, not realizing they passed the Christmas section. They stopped at the potted plants section.

"Here we are." Malon pointed at a palm tree.

"What is that thing?" exclaimed Marth. Marth never saw one of those trees in his homeland or in Smashville. It did look like an alien tree, since the leaves looked weird and a strange brown fruit grew from it.

"It's a palm tree. Dummy." responded Malon.

"Two questions. What's a palm tree and where are the Christmas trees?" cried Marth.

"We're sold out this year. As for the palm trees, go Google it or something." Malon replied.

"IS THERE ANY OTHER SMASH-MART THAT ALSO SELLS THIS?" Marth screamed in agony.

"Sadly, no. We may get extras after Christmas, so maybe you could check again. Again, there's nothing I can do." Malon walked away, while Marth sobbed.


	10. Batteries Not Included

Samus returned home from shopping, and dashed to her room. Swiping the card key, she walked into her room and dropped her shopping bag. The bounty hunter then picked up her bag and dumped the contents of her purchases on the floor. The first thing she picked up is an Arm Cannon she bought from an upgrades store. She hastily installed it and couldn't wait to test it out (on an Alloy).

**15 minutes later:**

Samus trotted to the Gym in her Power Suit. She arrived and summoned an Alloy. Samus pointed her arm cannon at the Alloy and expected a stronger missile to come out of it.

"Why isn't it coming out?" Samus questioned while pressing the buttons.

**Another 15 minutes later:**

"I give up." Samus left the gym and went back to her room. She got out of her Power Suit and uninstalled the Arm Cannon. While packing it into the box, Samus noticed something on the packaging.

"Requires 4 CC Batteries (not included)." Samus read. "Are you for real? These things cost 100 dollars for a four pack!" she then cried.

* * *

Bowser continued to circle the mall parking lot. He loitered around a parking spot and read a newspaper to pass the time. It didn't work, since a wave of honks greeted the Koopa.

"You're not the only one looking for space too!" demanded a Toad.

"Shut up." Bowser turned around, took out a Bob-omb from his glove compartment, lit it, and threw it at the Toad's tiny red car. It made a satisfying bang, killing the Toad and damaging two other cars.

"Now what was I supposed to do? Oh, find a parking spot." Bowser moved on with finding a parking space, despite wasting gas.

* * *

Toon Link stamped his feet when Link was looking for a store to buy clothes.

"BUY ME SOMETHING!" Toon Link demanded. Link ignored him as he looked for a dress to buy. He checked a piece of paper before moving to another section with different sizes. The cartoon hero pointed at a pair of boots.

"Can I buy it with my money?" requested Toon Link. Again, Link didn't say a single word. Instead, he chose a purple dress and went to the cashier. The Hylian placed some cash on the counter, and paid up.

* * *

Mario left the mall where the female Koopa attacked him, and went home to drop off his stuff. On the way back, he passed by an alleyway because it was a "shortcut".

"Give me some money?" someone yelled. Mario looked back and saw a homeless person. He has a long beard, a dirty jacket, and lived in a cardboard box.

"Get a job, you bum!" Mario replied back before moving with his day.

"But I can't find one." the bum whined (he was lazy to look for one). After Mario left, he took out a can of beer and started drinking it. Good thing Mario didn't find out.

* * *

Princess Peach quietly sobbed in her room because of her in-laws, and the guilt trip from lying to Luigeena.

"In-laws, please leave soon." she prayed. She paced back and forth, worrying about both her in-laws and the Christmas dinner Master Hand asked her to make. It had placed her in charge of the cooking (since she has better experience making Christmas dinners than the regular cooks), and Peach is unsure of what to make, since she had to suit the tastes of both the Smashers and her in-laws. Not wanting to waste time, Peach went down to the kitchen.

* * *

Master Hand went back to paying those bills, which were now lost in the questions fans sent.

"Ask blog question." Master Hand said, while tossing a letter in the queue. There was a mountain of ask blog questions, and they looked identical to the mails sent by the bill company. The only difference is that they have a username or "Anonymous."

"There's one." Master Hand spoke, while reading the bill.

"49,000 dollars!" cried Master Hand. "I thought I told Peach to stop maxing the mansion's budget. That's going out of her paycheck now."

* * *

Pit twitched while writing the Christmas cards. He wanted to cheer since he already finished A-O, but he still needed to finish those annoying cards for Master Hand. Pit read the list and examined who he needs to send cards to next.

_Palutena_

"Dearest Palutena…" Pit mumbled to himself. He had a major crush on her, so he wanted to impress her with a card. Pit started writing.

_Dear Palutena _

_Have a merry Christmas, my dear goddess. Perhaps we could go out sometime._

_Pit_

Pit looked at the next person to write to.

_Parappa The Rapper_

_Paula P._

"What is he doing on the list?" Pit questioned, knowing he stuck out like Link in the Kokiri Forest. Most of the Smashers hate him because of the conflict with the rival mansion (aka All-Stars Mansion). But Pit didn't want a reprimanding from Master Hand, so he picked up a pen, grabbed a card, and continued writing.

* * *

Ganondorf stared at a badge he found on the ground. The badge has a black border with white text, while the middle showed a blue lightning bolt with the Mother logo on it.

"Oh geez, look at this." Ganondorf said, picking it up and holding the badge with excitement. Ness was also in the room looking for something. He noticed the badge and walked towards the Gerudo.

"Give it back." Ness demanded.

"No, I want it!" Ganondorf cried like a small child, holding the badge as if it was his child.

"Too bad!" The psychic boy snatched it out of the Gerudo's hands.

* * *

Snake redid the lights, and got it done right. The house looked like a winter wonderland, since Sonic also bought mechanical reindeers to decorate the lawn. Suddenly, one of the lights went out. It caused a chain reaction, because the other lights also went out too.

"ONE LIGHT GOES OUT, THEY ALL GO OUT!" Snake raged, still frustrated. He still hadn't got over the blinking lights, and Snake didn't want another issue to pop up.

"Maybe it's the lights. Cheap lights will burn out easily." Sonic suggested.

"I bought the lights yesterday!" fumed Snake.

* * *

Marth visited a warehouse selling evil trees. He knew that wasn't an proper place to find a Christmas tree, but maybe they have ordered some normal trees by mistake. Opening the door, he saw an evil Goomba, pictures of Christmas trees, and a variety of candy and drinks.

"You have any Christmas Trees?" asked Marth.

"Most of the villains here bought all of our evil trees. Can't do anything about it."

"You're out too!" Marth screamed.

"We have some evil coffee you could drink as compensation for visiting us. Or maybe you could buy some evil ornaments for someone's evil tree." said the Goomba.

"No thanks. I don't want to join the ranks of you." Marth walked out of the store.


	11. Stale TV Specials

Fox sat on a leather couch, TV remote in his hand. Falco also sat on the couch with several drinks in his hand. In front of them were some nachos, popcorn, and imported food from Lylat.

"We now return to 'A Thanksgiving Carol'." the announcer spoke on the TV.

"A Thanksgiving Carol?" Fox questioned, while the TV screen showed someone complaining about not getting the day off on Thanksgiving.

"That's not even Christmas!" Falco exclaimed, while drinking a can of cola.

"Beats me." replied Fox. "Because every other Christmas special is about saving Christmas or when most of us stop believing in Santa."

* * *

Stressed from what happened with her arm cannon; Samus opened a box containing a musical robot. The robot can play over 150 songs, from the Animal Crossing theme to "You Call This a Utopia?". She wanted to try it out herself, but she kept forgetting. Placing the robot on the table, she flipped the switch and pressed a few buttons, but it just wouldn't play.

**20 minutes later:**

Giving up, she checked the instruction manual if she did something stupid.

_Requires 2 AA Batteries (not included)_

"Well why didn't I tell myself to buy some?" Samus groaned while slapping herself in the face for being stupid.

* * *

Giving up, Bowser found a space where he could park and call it a day. Getting out, he bumped into a sign.

_No parking._

"Really?" Bowser complained. "Back to circling around the city for a parking space."

* * *

"I WANNA GO TO THE BATHROOM!" Toon Link ordered.

"You'll have to hold it for a while. Don't want you causing mischief." Link replied while buying hamburgers for the two of them.

"Please dad, I can't hold it." cried the cartoon hero.

"He looks like he does need to go. Just let your son go, he's a big boy." the part-timer added.

"Fine. But hurry up." sighed Link.

"Finally. You kept ignoring what I wanted to say to you." Toon Link said in a harsh tone. He ran towards the public washrooms, and came back running 5 minutes later.

* * *

Mario arrived at a shopping center and went to find a dress store, so he can buy Princess Peach some new gowns. After looking at a nearby Salvation Army branch, he turned around and left the center because he didn't want another 'representative' hijacking him. Luckily, the Salvation Army people didn't notice him.

* * *

Princess Peach worked on baking a Yule Log for the Smashers. While pouring the batter into the pan, she heard a feminine voice.

"Hello, my goodie two-shoes clone. I have come to see you." It didn't sound like Mama Mario, Luigeena or another in-law Peach knew. Dropping the whisk on the floor, the princess turned back and saw the Shadow Queen. She didn't look like her true form, but she looked like her possessed form.

"Water you..What are you doing here? I thought Mario banished you away!" Princess Peach cried.

"I'm just here to say hello, that's all. And I'm the not the Shadow Queen. I'm Evil Princess Peach, fatty!" the evil princess responded, before leaving.

"She's a witch, I hate her!" Peach quietly sobbed to herself.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" her evil clone ran back in the kitchen, looking angry.

"Uh, I have an itch." mumbled Peach.

"Good. I've better get going. My evil boyfriend wants me." Evil Princess Peach spoke while leaving the mansion.

* * *

Master Hand sat at his desks, paying his bills.

"On the plus side, they're going to disappear soon." Master hand thought, trying to think positively.

* * *

"Oh, I don't even know half these people." Pit looked at the list of people to send cards to, before being alerted by a knock on the door. Answering it, he saw Ness and Lucas.

"Sorry guys, but I can't play with you." Pit regretted.

"I see guess we could- What's this?" questioned Ness, looking at Pit's list of people to send cards to.

"It's my list of whom to send cards too. And besides, what's a Reggie Fils-Aime?" Pit questioned.

"He's some greedy person who cares more about money. He wouldn't let me release my games in America." Lucas answered, tears in his eyes. Ness noticed and patted Lucas on the back.

"Don't worry buddy, a group of fans made your games English." Ness tried to cheer the timid boy up.

"Well, I guess we should leave you alone now." Lucas spoke. He shut the door.

* * *

"Who's got the toilet paper?" Ganondorf asked drunkly.

"I do!" Yoshi called, holding a toilet paper roll up high.

"Hand it over." demanded Ganondorf.

"If you'll listen to my friend's song, sure!" responded Yoshi. Up came Jigglypuff, equipped with a microphone. It started singing.

"Jiggaly…puff…Jiggaly…puff." Jigglypuff sang. It managed to sing half of its lullaby, before Ganondorf fell asleep, standing. Angry, she grabbed a nearby whiteboard eraser and drew on the Gerudo's face.

"Good job Jigglypuff, you may go now." Yoshi whispered. The Jigglypuff walked off, while Yoshi grabbed the toilet paper, tied it to Ganondorf's hand, and started wrapping. It took him 30 minutes to do so, since he needed a stepstool to get to the upper areas (up to Ganondorf's mouth). Luckily, he got the job done and he went off to play Call of Duty.

**30 minutes later:**

Ganondorf woke up lying down on the living room floor, wrapped like a mummy. Originally, Ganondorf could break out of this mess, but Master Hand required the Triforce bearers to put their Triforces in a safe deposit box. Secondly, Bowser would be willing to help, but he was busy shopping at the mall. Wolf didn't care about Ganondorf, while King Dedede would be too dumb to know what's happening.

"Mmph!" muffled Ganondorf.

"Hey guys, look!" a high-pitched voice called. In came the entire roster, except for the ones who were out (Bowser, Mario, Link, Toon Link, and Marth). Immediately after looking at the tied-up Gerudo, they whipped out their phones, cameras, and Nintendo 3DSes to take a picture of this once in a lifetime chance while laughing. Some of the Smashers grabbed permanent markers and drew on the toilet paper.

"Imma put this on-a Instagram!" Luigi cheered, raising his iPhone.

"This is win." Lucas chuckled, holding a PSP Vita. He turned to Ness. "Too bad Claus isn't alive. I would have shown it to him."

"You probably deserved it, loser." Zelda said sassily, also flipping her hair.

The crowd disappeared 15 minutes later, and help didn't arrive until Master Hand discovered him. The glove tore the toilet paper apart, freeing Ganondorf.

"Be careful next time." Master Hand warned, not showing any sympathy towards the incident.

* * *

After taking a few pictures of Ganondorf tied up in toilet paper, Snake and Sonic returned outside to clean things up (since they successfully rigged up the lights). The success didn't last long, because the mansion blacked out from the tremendous amount of lights.

"GET A FLASHLIGHT, I BLEW A FUSE!" barked Snake. Sonic dashed into the house and returned, holding a flashlight.

"I think this would work." Sonic replied, throwing a flashlight at the mercenary.

"You wait here, I'm going to fix the fuse." instructed Snake. He turned on the flashlight and walked into the house, carefully.

* * *

Marth found a Christmas tree farm, still with trees in stock. There was a long line ahead, so he got in line and waited.

**2 hours later:**

Marth's phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out. Turning it on, he received a text of a tied up Ganondorf from Ike.

"marth i wished u kud see dis" the text said. Marth replied back, trying to avoid cracking a smile.

"Funny, but that's not what I'm looking for." Marth texted back. He put the phone back into his pocket and went to find a tree.

**Another 2 hours later:**

"Sorry guys, we're sold out. Come back next year." a clerk hollered. The line disbanded as people left the farm, frustrated.

"4 hours wasted." Marth mumbled angrily while leaving.

* * *

**Reggie Fils-Aime is the guy running Nintendo of America.**

**Evil Princess Peach is some random fan character I made for the story. I'm going to add more details about her onto the ask blog**

**A Thanksgiving Carol is based on a fake book on the Club Penguin Wiki.**


	12. Singing Christmas Carols

**Just feel like turning the tables around, and making the events better than expected for some Smashers. Anyway, I do admit that Chapter 11 sucked due to a lack of morale and inspiration. The same for Chapter 12, so forgive me for any errors, even if this was completed 10 days past Christmas.**

**The italics shows what is on Fox's television during his channel surfing adventures.**

* * *

Ike, Luigi, Kirby, Ness, and Lucas walked out of the mansion, holding a book of Christmas Carols.

"Luigi, Kirby, Ness, Lucas and Ike will be singing Christmas carols." Ike read on a piece of paper. It was typed in Comic Sans and scrunched up in Ike's pocket.

The carolers walked towards a door and rang a doorbell. A minute later, an elderly Bob-omb opened the door.

"Mind if we sing for you?" Ike asked nicely.

"NO!" The door slammed on them.

"Can we go home?" Ness whined.

"My hands are cold." Lucas added in.

"Piyo Piyo (I don't want to sing!)" cried Kirby

"We don't want to sing too, but we have too." replied Ike.

"Let's go hit a few houses and then go-a home." Luigi said. They walked to a mansion and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" a female Toad inquired. She wore a blue apron and had green spots on her cap.

"Can we sing you a few songs?" asked Ness.

"Sure!" the Toad cheered. The carolers sang a few popular Christmas songs like "Jingle Bell Rock", "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree", and "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer". The group thanked her and left.

"We got 2 houses done, only 98 to go." complained Lucas.

"But at least Master Hand is giving us chili and hot chocolate on the way back." Luigi replied, trying to make Lucas's thoughts more positive.

* * *

Fox continued sitting on the couch, channel surfing. "A Thanksgiving Carol" didn't suit Fox's tastes, so he changed the channel.

*click*

_On the television, a thief talked about planning to get revenge on Santa because he stolen her favorite doll 9 years ago._

"Holiday Hi-Jynx rip-off." Fox said.

*click*

"_We must go to the North Pole and cure Santa of his disease! Christmas must be saved!" a 12-year-old boy cried to his friends, before getting into a flying car._

"Obligatory 'Christmas must be saved' movie."

*click*

_A Gerudo girl went up to her dad, while he polishes one of his weapons. "Daddy, will it snow here during Christmas?"_

"No, because the film is set in a place that typically don't get much snow." Fox said in a monotone voice before changing the channel.

*click*

"_Now, now Sally, Santa is real. Maybe if you go to sleep now, he'll come." a father lied to his daughter. He didn't believe in Santa, but he made that stuff up to get his daughter to sleep. After Sally fell asleep, he heard Santa Claus._

"_Hohoho" a jolly voice laughed._

"This movie is stupid. Santa isn't real, and he will never be." commented Fox while pressing the change channel button.

*click*

"Fox, would you just shut up about Santa not existing? We do get that he's fake, but if the kids hear this, you'll just ruin Christmas for them." Samus called from another room. At the same time, Falco returned from the snack room with more drinks and the bowl of popcorn refilled. He sat down besides Fox.

"You found anything interesting to watch?" Falco asked.

"Nope. 95% of the Christmas specials make me wants to gag." replied Fox.

"That's sad. Should we watch a horror movie instead?" suggested Falco.

"I guess, since the movies they're showing are stale." Fox answered.

"Then the choice is made!" cheered Falco. He walked over to the DVD player, popped in a horror movie DVD, pressed the play button and dashed to the couch.

* * *

Samus looked at her power suit she bought as a gift for herself. The bounty hunter couldn't wait to try it out, before noticing the three words she hated on the package. She already dealt with her arm cannon not including batteries, and fuel added to her rage after the musical robot she built also didn't include batteries.

* * *

Bowser became fed up with not finding parking spaces and parked near the local Malonalds.

"Parking only for Malonalds customers?!" Bowser raged. "Do I care? No." He got out of his car, punched the sign, and stomped to the mall.

* * *

Link and Toon Link went to different shops in the mall. Link managed to calm Toon Link, until he tripped on the floor.

"DADDY, I GOT A BOOBOO!" cried Toon Link.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine. Just get up and we can get moving." responded Link. He picked up Link and they both went to get ice cream.

**3 hours later:**

Toon Link got out of the car, while Link opened the trunk and took the bags out.

"Toony, can you help me with the bags?" asked Link.

"NO." Toon Link yelled, hands on his hips.

"Come on, I bought you ice cream." Link tried to bargin. Toon Link walked up to a bag and tried to pick it up.

"IT'S TOO HEAVY!" Toon Link continued to whine.

"If you're going to act like this, I won't take you with me to the mall." Link warned.

"YOU'RE A MEANIE!" Toon Link dropped the bag and ran into the house, crying.

* * *

Mario returned home after being pestered by several charities. Tired, he dragged himself towards the games room and possibly play a few Wii U games. The doorbell rang, and Mario dragged himself back to the front door to answer it. It was a charity caroling group, which means Mario is obligated to give them donations.

"I'll give you some money if you'll leave me alone. Seriously, I've been-a pissed off by you guys for too long." complained Mario. He went into his pockets, threw a wad of cash at the carolers, and slammed the door. Mario didn't mind charity carolers in the earlier years (he donated generously), but several other charities ruined his day and he didn't want to give to future charities.

* * *

Peach panicked as she tried to juggle several meals cooking at the same time. She has a turkey in an oven, gravy cooking over a stove, another cake in the oven, an unprepared salad, and unmashed potatoes.

"Hurry up, I'm hungry!" Mama Mario complained.

"Just wait!" begged Peach. She smelled something burning in the oven.

"Why does it smell burning?" demanded Mama Mario, walking into the kitchen. Princess Peach walked sadly to the oven and took out the Yule Log she burned.

"I tried to make you the cake you wanted." Princess Peach defended.

"YOU DUMBASS. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU COOK SEVERAL MEALS AT ONCE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU COULDN'T HANDLE IT? YOU ALSO DIDN'T MAKE THE FOOD I WANTED YOU TO MAKE! GOD, PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID!" Mama Mario yelled. At the same time, Master Hand walked in with a green and blue Alloy.

"Get out." Master Hand demanded.

"But…" pleaded Mama Mario.

"Out." said Master Hand.

"I was just helping her out. Right Princess Peach?" Mama Mario replied casually. Princess Peach shook her head.

"Security." ordered Master Hand. The two Alloys grabbed Mama Mario's arms and escorted her out of the mansion.

"You'll have to explain that to Mario. I'm not doing the dirty work for you." Master Hand said to Princess Peach before exiting.

* * *

Master Hand walked back in his office, after dealing with Mama Mario. He still had piles of unpaid bills on his desk, and he couldn't afford to pay them all.

"Guess I'll have to sell signed prints of Super Smash Bros. Now what could have gone wrong next?" Master Hand questioned.

Pit stormed into Master Hand's office with the boxes of unused cards and envelopes, and the cards he already finished.

"I'm not sendin' them this year, that's it!" Pit yelled, throwing the sack of finished cards at the glove and stormed out. He also placed the boxes of cards and envelopes on the desk too.

"Then you can't attend the banquet tomorrow. It's too bad you'll be in your room all night, while your friends enjoy the tasty food and drink." Master Hand responded, trying to hide his failures.

"That's fine with me!" Pit flew out of the office, leaving a hole in the ceiling.

* * *

Fox and Falco took a break from channel surfing and walked towards Ganondorf in the other living room, chugging a bottle of beer. Surrounding him was more empty bottles of beer. The falcon shook the Gerudo.

"I think you drank too much." Falco notified, confiscating the unfinished bottle of beer from Ganondorf.

"Shut up, you!" Ganondorf yelled, shoving Falco. He reclaimed his bottle of beer and continued drinking, despite a quarter of it spilling on the floor.

"Why not you shut up?" responded Fox, picking up Falco and dragging him out of the living room. Ganondorf simply laughed insanely.

* * *

Snake is still frustrated from rigging up the lights. He has fumbled around with the lights for 5 hours, with no success. Sonic looked like he had more experience with the lights, so Snake walked towards him.

"FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!" Snake bellowed, shoving the lights into a confused Sonic before going back in.

"Why me?" asked Sonic. "Master Hand put you in charge of the lights!" Snake came back with some news.

"You acted like you can rig up the lights, so you should do it." Snake grumbled.

"Sure, I'll tell Master Hand that you're too lazy to do it." Sonic replied wittily.

"Tell anyone, and I'm having hedgehog à la Snake. YOU GOT THAT?" demanded Snake, before back into the mansion.

* * *

Marth walked back into the mansion, tired from looking for a tree. He entered Master Hand's rooms to deliver his regards.

"I couldn't find a tree. Sorry about that." Marth regretted, shivering from the cold.

"Fine, you can cut one out from paper." Master Hand instructed.

"Ask the Ice Cimbers to cut it out or something. You made me waste 8 days trying to find a Christmas Tree." Marth replied angrily, before slamming the door on the way out.

* * *

**I don't know what I'm planning to do here after this story. I may end Bowser's Interviews earlier with a surprise twist, plus work on several one-shots (one of them is about a Smasher going to a convenience store). Otherwise, I may take another hiatus but still work on the Smash Mansion ask blog (4 in the inbox, 1 in queue).**

**I also might do some livestreams of me working on some fanfictions, so whoever's interested can go watch me work on some stories. People can also submit CNC and suggestions during the stream, and I might use them. I will announce it on Tumblr (either mishieruchan or smashmansion), so check both blogs if you're interested!**


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